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The Suicide of the VirginAugust is the cruelest month, breeding
Cypress on the campus, mixing
Change and unfamiliarity, stirring
Poison into these drinks.
The promise of demise kept my heart warm, covering
Sorrow with plastered smiles, feeding
An insightful mind with rotting tubers.
Death came quickly, jumping from the highest building.
In that soft rain; I came to a halt on the concrete,
My memories of you in the sunlight, my last thoughts,
And how we sat in the stairwell, for hours talking.
Wie werden uns wiedersehen.
When I was young, staying with my grandfather,
Poor widower, he took me on a walk,
and I was happy. He said, Maria,
Maria, listen to me. And he told me never to fear death.
For it is inevitable, a part of life.
I went home and contemplated what it meant to die.
Why does this feeling clutch at my heart, why does it grow
from what was once full of love? I am but a daughter of man.
And I know not much more than the fact
that I am broken, an image of what has been.
And death merely gives the
WretchWretched soul, wretched soul.
The clock strikes four-
but never moves.
You look to the window,
for the ones you have lost
(begging for the pity of your womb).
Alone you'll perish;
Empty as a dusty cellar.
And although the fault lies with only you,
it is something you shall never understand.
:R a i n:The rain fell endlessly from the sky, each drop rhythmically hitting the old roof. It was especially audible from the attic in which I sat, watching the rain hit the lake from the singular, cracked window in the dusty room. Slowly, I traced nonsensical figures on the window, using the fog made from my damp breath as a form of paint. Staring at it for a moment, I suddenly became incredibly unhappy at my art and wiped it away with my jacket sleeve.
That was when I noticed a figure walking to the lake shore, small from where I sat but seemed like a girl in her late teens. Slowly, ever so slowly, she walked into the water, until she was waist deep. She looked to the sky, her now sopping wet hair sticking to her face. Thinking back, she seemed to gather some form of… Courage from whatever she found in that rainy sky, before she peacefully sank into the water. The villagers didn’t find her until it was much too late.
“That’s the fifth one this year,” I murmured
WinterThese oceans of blood,
consuming my soul.
Like sheep to the slaughter,
fear seeps into my bones.
I ponder the meaning of the few
seconds my life is
in the wake of these magnificent
my pockets are empty and my
mind is blank.
GrudgeMonsters crawl from the depths
of my soul.
I find my mind cannot take the horror
of years past,
while my heart pleads for silence
[that I can't find]
A step above the restLook down at me from above
(atop that towering plain) -
and wonder why all those ants
gnaw at you 'till you're falling like a
wave crashing to the shore
of some long-lost
my sun-bleached bones lay upon the
ViolinI remember the day
you told me violins
were strung with cat gut
and that is why
you hated music
(who says that to a child?)
I followed you
all that summer.
I watched you
grow away from mother -
your whiskey held better conversations
and all she did was cry.
We'd sit cross-legged on the porch
and count the horseflies
settling on our lunch.
You would drown tadpoles
in a bucket
surprised they could not swim
and I would dream
of cherry popsicles.
And when night would gather
on the sidewalk
I'd hold my breath
until a star appeared.
Don't bother making wishes
you'd tell me -
stars are dead weight in heaven
and God has cloth ears.
My School Says I'm Worthless (sort of a rant)I'm a criminal because my values aren't their values
And I'm scum to say the least
Because I'm not on their list
Ones who have their lives set out
And drink from molten glory raining down from
School top balconies...
And I have myself left to blame for all the non-attempts
And truancies; the bleak distractions
That help me escape the inviolable test-score stares
Of disapproval that I attract from their
And they're forced to ask me 'Why?
Why are you still here?'
And I can barely say
That I'm afraid to leave.
That I know that no-one knows
Or what they want to be
But unlike those
I gave up
A while ago
And they can't tell me to my face that I'm a failure so they heavily imply
That my lacking presence
And even less impressive
Tendency for slacking off is evidence
That I am stupid and a fool and nothing more than such a waste of resources
And it's a disappointment
That I don't hold their ideals
VesselYour heart is a compass.
Broken, perhaps, but I know
It’s always searching for the North Star.
Which way will your beard point tonight?
DanielYou are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium
that does not make you the lesser -
You’ve got the weight of the world
on one shoulder
sometimes you trip because of it -
you’re still walking
and if things fused wrong
post or anterior
and if things fused out in the interior
your circuits live on
and if your thoughts get circular
or so do your moods
and your mind blanks and you forget -
you’re nervous but strong -
then I’ll remind you.
Because you give me
the backbone required
you’re my Atlas, so I lift my head,
you’re my axis, so I can face the future
because you are vertebrae
reinforced with titanium.
You’re my inner strength.
FallingFailure after failure
A life not worth living
Lost in my misery
Long gone are the good moments
I keep falling
Nothing can save me now
Gone my hopes are
Because He'sHe’s listening
Millions of them.
A flash of red
And a navy hat
No warning – now motionless
With skin turned to shadows.
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